Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Ultimate Grocery Store Playlist



A little-known, yet highly-enforced Illinois state law dutifully states: "Any owner of a grocery store containing at least eight aisles is required to play smooth adult contemporary music at a reasonable volume."  It's true.  There are those who find this law controversial and those people also do not care for Phil Collins (who we all know is on the grocery store "must-play" soundtrack).  A few other songs are:





"Waiting For A Star to Fall" by Boy Meets Girl
Before the TGIF sitcom, there was an 80s band called Boy Meets Girl. In typical 80s fashion, they had one hit and it featured a saxophone. It's also guaranteed to make you smile while buying deli meat.


"The Way It Is" by Bruce Hornsby
You don't understand why there are only two cashiers on duty?  Hey, man, that's just the way it is.  




"Broken Arrow" by Rod Stewart
Even Rod Stewart doesn't know what this song means, but studies show that it helps sell duct tape.

"How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" by James Taylor
Lawyers for the Dentist Office Radio Network sued the Grocery Store Radio Network for exclusivity to this song.  The case is pending.


"Captain of Her Heart" by Double
Unfortunately, it isn't allowed to be played during double coupon days.


"The Living Years" by Mike & The Mechanics
This tearjerker gets most of its exposure the week preceding Father's Day (and also satisfies the hourly Phil Collins quota).

"Something About You" by Level 42
As soon as you start to sing along, some asshat will make an announcement over the loud speaker and totally ruin your good mood.



"Stars" by Simply Red
Three out of four grocery stores claim this song makes people buy more Schweppe's Raspberry Ginger Ale.



" Back For Good" by Take That
All of your struggles maneuvering that shopping cart with the wobbly wheel melt when this song plays.


(Credit to Angel L. and Kimmy L. whose Facebook posts inspired this topic)

No comments:

Post a Comment